Why I joined the CARE Society

By Tara Oakes

Summary:

In this personal origin story, Tara shares her journey from a bullied child in the UK school system to finding belonging in online communities, discovering project-based learning through video game modding, and ultimately joining a team of founders determined to build a better future for kids. This article explores how her early experiences with loneliness, creativity, and community led to the mission behind CARE today.

A Shared Goal

The founding team: Jimmy, Elizabeth, Rebecca, Aquinas, Tara(me), and Jedd, all came together through a common goal, but from across different US states and even countries.  We all want to help kids and provide a better education than what we had, regardless of our different backgrounds. That’s our future. So what’s our past? How did we find each other?

Why This Matters to Me

For me, the heart of it has always been this: I knew from a young age what it felt like to be left behind by an education system that didn’t know what to do with me. I’ve spent my whole life searching for spaces where kids feel secure, connected, inspired, and free to learn in the ways that actually work for them.

This is my side of the story, and unavoidably partly Jedd’s since he is my fiancé after all!

Early Childhood: Leaving School

I grew up in 2000s England as a normal public school kid until the age of 8, at which point I was being bullied and socially isolated by the other students so much that even the teachers shrugged and told my parents that there was nothing they could do.

So, determined to lift me out of an education that was making me miserable, with zero teaching background, my parents made the call to homeschool me. My mum bought all the classic curriculum worksheet books for maths and English, and set me ‘schoolwork’ to do at the table each day. My dad, a writer, took charge of my English education and had me writing stories and learning structure, etc. They also bought me educational computer games, which I adored. Additionally, the UK government provided supplementary educational games and quizzes hosted on the BBC’s website to support all students, known as Bitesize, which were fun interactive Java games:

But I hated the rigid workbook tasks and would creatively cheat or waste time wherever I could. At the end of the day I wasn't even partaking in a class of group learning; I was just writing numbers for my mum to check the answers page at the end of the day and give me a tick in the workbook's box or not. It wasn't exactly stimulating, but my mum was being told to teach this way by public school standards.

I was taken to local meetings of other homeschooled kids, where we would usually have a group lesson from one of the parents or just play and be social all day. I had friends, but they were only people I saw every few weeks. This was not only due to sparse scheduling but also because my family didn’t have a car and couldn’t afford entry to the ‘bigger’ meetups that were further away.

So, as a growing kid needing social engagement, I was lonely. The developing internet saved me from being socially stunted, but this is because back in my day, the internet was built of articles and forums rather than the social media of today. What I experienced were topic-specific online communities.

Looking back, I can see so clearly that what I needed wasn’t just “school at home,” it was belonging. I didn’t want less learning - I wanted learning that connected me to other kids, that let me create things, that met me where I was. Those early experiences planted the seeds for everything I believe now: that education has to be human, relational, and flexible, because kids can’t thrive when they feel alone.

Finding My First Online Community

The early internet - all focused forums and articles, not social media feeds - rescued me socially. I found communities built around shared interests, especially Club Penguin. A group of us formed a forum called The Rockhopper Trackers, where thirty-plus kids spoke daily via chatrooms, shared jokes, interests, bad photoshops, and genuine friendship. Some of those friendships are still going today! (below is a post from 14 year old me):

Those early online communities taught me something powerful: kids flourish when they have a space that feels like theirs. A place where inside jokes, creativity, curiosity, and genuine friendships grow naturally. That sense of shared excitement and collaboration shaped how I think about community today - and it’s the feeling I want kids in CARE to experience every day.

Teen Years and the Modding Community

When I hit 16, I was nose-deep into video games, but I was lonely and bored. My parents’ focus on my education had waned as my siblings needed to be taught the basics, too, so my parents trusted me to do my own thing. I was a colossal bookworm, so that probably earned me more trust.

This freedom led me to develop my own kind of project-based learning. My social internet background led me to seek out other fans of my favourite game, and I discovered the modding community - fans who make their own non-profit content and expansions for video games! I joined teams as a writer and eventually became a project director - I suddenly had friends from all over the world, and I started to dream of doing it professionally.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was teaching myself more through those projects than I ever learned through formal schooling. Writing quests, hiring voice actors, managing teams, worldbuilding with strangers across time zones - that was my version of real education. It showed me the power of project-based learning long before I knew the term for it. Kids deserve that same thrill of making something real and meaningful.

University and Losing Community Again

That era ended when I was diagnosed with a debilitating and worsening disability at 21. I became panicked and adamant that to be able to do anything with my life, I needed to go to university while I still could. I tried to sign up for a Game Design course, which was still my dream at the time, but I missed it by a year, so I studied English and History instead.

COVID hit early on in my uni life, and all forms of social life were destroyed. I found it nearly impossible to form new friendships in its aftermath, so I turned to finding online communities again. The only problem was that I didn’t have a common ground to seek out anymore. Or so I thought.

What I was really craving was the intellectual and social spark I had growing up online - the kind where people gather because they care about ideas and creativity, not because they’re forced into the same room.

Rediscovering Ideas, Friendship, and Purpose

Jedd was an old friend of a friend at that point, and as we began to date, he introduced me to a lot of cool videos of debates between people who thought differently from one another. With both our higher education and social experiences being lackluster, we started to want that for ourselves.

We eventually found an internet community that catered to that spirit of free but friendly discussion, and it was there through formed friendships that we found our other CARE founders!

For the first time in years, I felt my brain turn back on. Talking with people who disagreed compassionately, who were curious instead of combative, reminded me how learning is supposed to feel. Those friendships restored something in me, and they shaped the values - curiosity, empathy, intellectual humility - that I later found in CARE.

The Moment We Realized We Could Build Something New

When that community fizzled out, we still wanted the same goal of creating our own space for free thought, compassionate discussion, community, and creative education that we wished we’d had as kids.

At some point we realized we weren’t just reminiscing about what could’ve been - we were describing the kind of space we wanted to build ourselves. All our different experiences, frustrations, and hopes pointed to the same conclusion: if the world we wanted didn’t exist yet, we could create it.

Launching the CARE Society

It was Jimmy’s initiative to create the CARE Society, and we all rallied around it because it has a goal that we all care about, too! Jimmy was also a guy I trusted because, even though he has a very eccentric personality of enthusiasm and showmanship (by British standards lol), he has always put action behind his words. So when he made clear his intention to build his own platform with the values of CARE, I trusted he would act to make it a reality. A reality I wanted to support and be a part of!

What CARE Means to Me Now

Today, the CARE Society feels like the place my younger self was always searching for. It’s not just on a modern platform, but also is a place where kids don’t have to choose between learning and being themselves.

A place where creativity, community, and compassion come first. Every time I see a student light up during a project or find their people, I’m reminded why this work matters - and why the kid I used to be would be proud that we built it.

Written by Tara Oakes